Blossom Hats

This is the most low key Lisa Frank I could find.  

So today a friends passed around an article about being a kid in the ‘90’s and how we’re going to have to explain all our weird crap to our children, like boy bands and Lisa Frank stickers (whatever – kids get it.) 

Naturally, I have a problem with everything they omitted.  

First, how can you write an article about being a kid in the ‘90’s and NOT mention Saved by the Bell?  We all still love Zach Morris, we even watch all the dumb lawyer shows he continues to make for cable!  You mention Ferngully but not SBTB?  Let’s talk about what saved by the bell taught us:

 

1.)   KIDS could have cell phones.  Talk about seeing the future.

2.)   Taking over the counter pills were bad and would ruin our music video career.

3.)   All really, really good looking guys are jerks and will just cheat on you at The Max.

4.)   Don’t drink and drive if you’re wearing a toga. Duh.

5.)   If you don’t want to do something just say you have to wash your hair and you’ll get out of it.

6.)   A lifelong loathing for oil spills and the companies that cause them.

There are so many more lessons you guys! I just can’t go through them one by one, but you know what they are.

This list also left off Jordan Catalano, the ultimate sexy, dumb, bad boy in plaid.  We were just as cute as Angela Chase and definitely had more personality than Angela Chase – if it were between us and Angela Chase, Jordan would totally want to be with us!  Also, My So Called Life addressed the idea of being a gay teenager better than, well, anything else.  Especially better than Glee, which is theworst.

They also forgot to mention all the weird crap we wore, which more than anything will cause our future kids to question our sanity.  I’m still trying to figure out how my grandma got her hair teased so high in the ‘60’s, you think our children won’t have questions about our Bedazzlers?  Or our vests, Doc Martens, long floral sacks and questionable denim choices?  No.  They will hate us for EVER looking like that and keeping the evidence.   

Also, let’s talk Blossom shall we?  I LOVED BLOSSOM! She was so cool.  Cooler than Six even though she was named after a number and shopped at the cool mall stores.  Blossom was named after a flower and shopped vintage, before EVERYONE!  Sometimes she looked homeless but most of the time she looked awesome. 

This outfit is still awesome.  And I still can't pull it off.

I was reminiscing about Blossom and how this one time when I was in Canada on vacation a lady came to help us make Blossom hats.  She called it a "workshop" but all she really did was buy some Kmart (or the Canadian equivalent) hats, faux flowers and supplied a glue gun.  This was probably my first foray into a “lifestyle” class or something that we continue to pay for to make us feel crafty or clever and useful.  There’s a reason we continue to pay people to teach us how to decorate cupcakes, they started on us young.  This is, unfortunately, probably why Pinterest exists (SORRY you guys, I hate it and find it confusing.)

Hmmm, they probably missed a million other things that defined my childhood but those are my big problems for now.  What glaring mistakes do you see?

UPDATE:

When I started Googling pictures for this, so many things showed up: Alex Mack, MAGIC EYE, Gel Pens, Carlton from the Fresh Prince, Ace of Base, Trolls, Tee Shirt Clips, Furby's and Dawson Leary crying among other awesome things like Daria and Mall Madness!